Audition Stress and Vocal Mess

I have to admit that the most stressful part about being an actor/singer for me is auditioning. Once I have a role or job, I'm good to go. Stage fright is not something I have ever struggled with, and I have never been one of those actors who wakes up in a cold sweat after a dream about forgetting lines or wearing the wrong costume. Memorizing comes easily to me. I find character analysis fun and interesting. But finding, applying for, and preparing for auditions is something over which I find myself losing sleep.

Usually, actors have to find an opportunity for auditions WAY before the audition actually happens. Auditions often require prior submission of paper applications, headshots, and fees. Once all of that has been taken care of, we're left with a month or two to obsess about monologue choices and song cuts, spending hours over-analyzing the order in which we perform said monologue/song, and timing how long it takes to say "Hi, I'm Katherine Lee Parker, number 43," complete the audition, and say "Thank you, Katherine Lee Parker, number 43."

We only get 90 seconds to represent ourselves to our potential employers. 90 seconds to convince a director that we're perfect for a role in a show that he's been thinking about and planning on directing for over a year. That is A TON of pressure! Finding a way to say "This is exactly who I am as a performer" in 90 seconds is nearly impossible. We can't waste a moment of it. And every second of that audition needs to be perfection.

I recently underwent a great deal of the stress of audition-prep without having the opportunity to reap any of the rewards. I signed up for the Alabama screening of Southeastern Theatre Conference, a giant convention to which hundreds of professional theatres turn to find their actors for summer shows. It is a fantastic opportunity for college students to build their resumes during the summer break and a great way to make connections in the theatre world. After completing my application, getting references, submitting my headshot, and sending in the $25 application fee, I began mulling over possibilities for audition material. But as I began to sing through my options, I found that my voice was much raspier than usual. My talking voice grew steadily frog-like and I had trouble sustaining notes when I sang. My voice would crack at unexpected times, and I struggled through songs that would ordinarily have come quite easily to me.

I have had a vocal condition called "nodules" two other times in my life, and I became very concerned (if not fearful) that the blisters had resurfaced on my vocal chords for a third time. One visit to the ENT proved my self-diagnosis to be correct, and I am now on my second straight week of vocal rest (the unfortunate but effective treatment of nodules). As a result of not being able/allowed to sing, I could not attend SETC last weekend and my chances for finding summer work with the theatres who "shop" at the conference became inexistent. I was really disappointed that I was robbed of the opportunity to audition this year. Luckily, SETC is not the only conference out there.

I'm now scrambling to find other conferences and auditions where I will get the chance to put in my bid for summer work, and I have already begun a couple of applications. Fortunately, those auditions don't happen until February and March of next semester and my vocal chords will have sufficient time to heal. I will also have sufficient time to obsess about and over-analyze my 90 seconds of self-representation to death.

I have five more weeks of vocal rest left. Refraining from singing is terribly difficult for me, and it's even more difficult to try to prepare for other upcoming auditions while not being able to sing through cuts of songs. I'm willing to do it, though. This is the life I have chosen for myself and while this one aspect of it is very stressful, it is an incredible life.