Audition Stress and Vocal Mess

I have to admit that the most stressful part about being an actor/singer for me is auditioning. Once I have a role or job, I'm good to go. Stage fright is not something I have ever struggled with, and I have never been one of those actors who wakes up in a cold sweat after a dream about forgetting lines or wearing the wrong costume. Memorizing comes easily to me. I find character analysis fun and interesting. But finding, applying for, and preparing for auditions is something over which I find myself losing sleep.

Usually, actors have to find an opportunity for auditions WAY before the audition actually happens. Auditions often require prior submission of paper applications, headshots, and fees. Once all of that has been taken care of, we're left with a month or two to obsess about monologue choices and song cuts, spending hours over-analyzing the order in which we perform said monologue/song, and timing how long it takes to say "Hi, I'm Katherine Lee Parker, number 43," complete the audition, and say "Thank you, Katherine Lee Parker, number 43."

We only get 90 seconds to represent ourselves to our potential employers. 90 seconds to convince a director that we're perfect for a role in a show that he's been thinking about and planning on directing for over a year. That is A TON of pressure! Finding a way to say "This is exactly who I am as a performer" in 90 seconds is nearly impossible. We can't waste a moment of it. And every second of that audition needs to be perfection.

I recently underwent a great deal of the stress of audition-prep without having the opportunity to reap any of the rewards. I signed up for the Alabama screening of Southeastern Theatre Conference, a giant convention to which hundreds of professional theatres turn to find their actors for summer shows. It is a fantastic opportunity for college students to build their resumes during the summer break and a great way to make connections in the theatre world. After completing my application, getting references, submitting my headshot, and sending in the $25 application fee, I began mulling over possibilities for audition material. But as I began to sing through my options, I found that my voice was much raspier than usual. My talking voice grew steadily frog-like and I had trouble sustaining notes when I sang. My voice would crack at unexpected times, and I struggled through songs that would ordinarily have come quite easily to me.

I have had a vocal condition called "nodules" two other times in my life, and I became very concerned (if not fearful) that the blisters had resurfaced on my vocal chords for a third time. One visit to the ENT proved my self-diagnosis to be correct, and I am now on my second straight week of vocal rest (the unfortunate but effective treatment of nodules). As a result of not being able/allowed to sing, I could not attend SETC last weekend and my chances for finding summer work with the theatres who "shop" at the conference became inexistent. I was really disappointed that I was robbed of the opportunity to audition this year. Luckily, SETC is not the only conference out there.

I'm now scrambling to find other conferences and auditions where I will get the chance to put in my bid for summer work, and I have already begun a couple of applications. Fortunately, those auditions don't happen until February and March of next semester and my vocal chords will have sufficient time to heal. I will also have sufficient time to obsess about and over-analyze my 90 seconds of self-representation to death.

I have five more weeks of vocal rest left. Refraining from singing is terribly difficult for me, and it's even more difficult to try to prepare for other upcoming auditions while not being able to sing through cuts of songs. I'm willing to do it, though. This is the life I have chosen for myself and while this one aspect of it is very stressful, it is an incredible life.

Where has the time gone?

I feel like I blinked and it's October. I do love October, though. The weather, especially in the first weeks, is absolutely stunning. It's such a wonderful time to be a student at Alabama. This campus never looked prettier than it does today. (Plus, it doesn't hurt that we have the best football team in the country and are currently in the throws of our second "perfect season.")

I obviously haven't written on here in a while. Life has gotten very busy and taken me on quite the adventure this semester, but you won't find me complaining.

I'm in the rehearsal process of a fantastic show called "The Bourgeois Gentlemen" in which I play a character WITH A NAME! Which has been, up to this point, unheard of for me at this university. The cast is incredibly talented and handling the very funny, very difficult text quite well. Our director is absolutely amazing--I've never seen anyone direct with as much energy or enthusiasm. He's everything I would want to be as a director. And we open in 13 days! It is crazy exciting. I can't wait to get started.

I've been able to hold on to my awesome job despite having rehearsals every day, which has been a blessing. I'm obviously not making nearly as much money right now because I work one morning a week, but I'm very lucky to have a job to return to after the show is finished. Especially such a great one where I get to work with my best friend.

Classes are difficult but not overwhelming. I'm enjoying my Dance 210 class, which is full of the new musical theatre students. I am the only upperclassman in the class, and it's been a wonderful opportunity to get to mentor some of the younger students and get to know them better. We dance together outside of class once a week just for fun, to stretch and help each other out. I love getting to spend time with the freshmen. They're all so vivacious and silly. A breath of fresh air. My Italian class is challenging, which is exciting for me because I feel like I'm being pushed to learn quickly and put a lot of effort into the class. It will definitely help me in preparing for my Italian Language Certification in the flight attendant application process.

I've gotten to spend a lot more time with my friends this semester than I have in the past, and it has been AMAZING! I love having free time to meet up with Rebekah for lunch or dinner before rehearsal or with Donna at the rec to kick our butts into shape. I've never had an easy time forming friendships with females for a long list of reasons established in high school, but this summer and fall have been wonderful for me in that area. Rebekah, Jordan, Donna, and Rachel are such blessings in my life. And I've been able to form closer relationships with the kids in the theatre department, which hasn't really happened until this year. It's been a fantastic change of pace. I have especially loved getting to know Michelle better. We run a "Member/Pledge Family" in Alpha Psi Omega where we get together with some of the freshmen and just get some quality time in. We're the mama bears to our bear family. And she's awesome.

And speaking of awesome friends I'm getting to know better, I've recently started a new relationship with Mister Norman Frank, who is handsome and wonderful and oh-so-good to me. It's a new situation so I don't have a whole lot to report on it as of now, other than that I'm very happy.

Between rehearsals, work, classes, friendships, Alpha Psi Omega, and a budding relationship, it's no wonder I find myself halfway through the semester without realizing how fast time is flying. This senior year is going to be over before I know it. And then what? Maybe flight attending, maybe getting a second bachelor's degree, maybe going to grad school...the options are endless. The world is wide open, and I'm so excited about seeing where it takes me.