I have been introduced to an entirely new category of discrimination that I, as an ignorant straight woman, have never considered possible.

One of my dearest friends is a very confident and openly gay man, but aside from his perfectly blown-dry hair, you wouldn't know it by looking at him. He is broad-shouldered and carries himself in a very masculine way. He wears Ralph Lauren solid-colored polos and khaki shorts of normal, modest length. He wears work boots and baseball hats. He looks just like an average guy.
As a result of this conservative style, he has suffered at the merciless hands of the more flamboyant gay community on campus. They tease him about his boots and look down on him for his modesty. They verbally attack him for his demeanor and ostracize him from their clique, saying that he is an embarassment to "their community."
I'm sorry, but...an EMBARASSMENT? Really? This boy, who goes out of his way to make everyone he knows absolutely comfortable, is an embarassment because he is confident enough to not have to hide behind the stereotype for which he has been judged his entire life. The group of people who have criticized him are the ones buying into said stereotype. They push their sexual orientation on people, making sure that there is no doubt that they are, 100%, gay and PROUD OF IT!

Hey, more power to you if you're gay. Honestly. I will absolutely not love you any less. Be proud of who you are, and be proud of the confidence you have in your identity. But if you're really that confident in that identity, then you should not feel the need to press it into everyone you come in contact with. Don't hide behind the make-up, the tight jeans, the crazy hats and bright hair. I mean, if you really are simply that colorful, then go for it! I love a good personal style. But don't you dare, then, judge someone else for having the confidence to be exactly who they are as well.
Shame on you! You have, without a doubt, grown up with judgement and discrimination haunting you every day. You know what it's like to be jeered at, to be publicly embarassed, to be mistreated because you are "different." How can you, then, knowing what that is like, turn around and judge someone from your own community for not fitting into the "right" mold? You hypocrites! You were judged for not fitting in, and you turn around and judge others for their not fitting in with you! How can you hate those who judge you for the very same reasons you judge someone else? How can you protest so strongly against the discrimination against you when you discriminate against each other?
You have to realize that you are weaking your own arguments for universal acceptance. You're shooting yourselves in the foot. If the rest of the world is to look upon you with nonjudging eyes, perhaps the revolution should begin within.

Take a look in the mirror. Wipe away the make-up and look inside. Become confident in the soul that lies beneath the exterior that the outside world has labeled as "homosexual." And learn to love others for the same reason you want to be loved: who they are beneath the surface.

My friend recently wrote this response to those who judge him:

"Excuse me for not wearing make-up.
Excuse me for not wearing the most fashion-forward hairstyles.
Excuse me for not strutting around campus in the gayest boots imaginable.
Excuse me for not making a drunk fool of myself in public.
Excuse me for not walking around with a shit-eating grin on my face thinking I'm the deal.
Excuse me for being me."

I think we could all use a little dose of humility. A little dose of respect. A little dose of love.

I love you, Jacob. You are gorgeous, inside and out. Your confidence inspires me.

I am lucky to know you.

Andrò in Italia nella primavera 2011!

I wrote a long email to my parents yesterday explaining all of the reasons why I am changing the dates of my trip to Italy to be in the spring semester of my senior year instead of the fall, and I wanted to share them with anyone else who was wondering. So...here goes. :)

I will start with my reasons to not go in the fall.

My primary reason for not going this fall is because of Ashley and Matt's wedding. I am essentially her maid of honor (the maid of honor is her little sister), and I've been asked to speak and help arrange showers/parties/everything else maids of honor do. I wouldn't be able to fulfill any of these tasks while being in Italy, and thinking about missing all of these pre-wedding things for two of my best friends truly breaks my heart. So I have decided it is not worth missing. If I did go to Italy this fall, I would miss all of those things and only be able to show up for the wedding ceremony (which is the weekend before exams in Italy...barf...). It's simply to costly for me, in terms of life experience.

Secondly, Mallory's final semester at UA is this fall. Our friendship has gotten way stronger this year, and I can't imagine missing out on our time together during her last semester. Also, Cat will have more free time so all of us girls could finally be together again and just be college kids together. It's quite a priceless thing, to me.

Thirdly, Alabama is playing Auburn, Penn State, and Florida at home this year. My senior year. My last football season of $5 tickets and being with my friends in the stands. Like...WHOA. It hurts my tummy to think about missing that.

Fourthly, if I get an awesome job this summer that I love, I can continue to work at that location throughout the fall and earn a lot more money towards my trip to Italy. It would help me not have such a hole in my pocket from the student loan.

Fifthly, I could apply for scholarship through API. I have not planned in enough advance to do so for the fall, but if I got a scholarship (because I would apply extra early for the spring), that would be even less of a hole in my pocket.

Sixthly, Dinan is coming home and will be here in the fall. If I leave in the fall, I will essentially be spending a year without Dinan. That is a terrible tragedy.

Seventhly, I have begun working on a new type of singing in my voice class right now that I have never known myself to be capable of. My teacher gets wide eyes and a proud smile every time we have a lesson, and I feel that I am at the height of my progress thus far. I am nervous to put a hiatus on my voice lessons at this point, when I've only just begun to really find my inner belter. He has voiced his own concerns with a break in our training, which has made me second-guess my timing. I want another semester of continuous work so that I can be confident in the training I will graduate with.

Now, I will talk about my reasons to go in the spring.

First of all, spring is notoriously AWESOME in Italy. The weather is supposed to be phenomenal, which would be ideal for my weekend travels. :)

Secondly, I would have all of spring break to journey through Europe (as opposed to the fall, during which I would have no extended break during which I could country-hop). Janie (and Lindsey) could join me for the week and experience some European awesomeness with me without having to rush during the short fall break to get to Italy and back, dealing with the crazy jet lag in just 3 days.

Thirdly, instead of having my Christmas break cut short, it would be elongated while my summer "break" (aka time to find a job and be an adult) would only be a couple of weeks shorter. This allows for a lot more breathing room and relaxation.

Fourthly, it does not conflict with any major Alabama-ness (football) or other important events.

Fifthly, I could be finished with all of my stressful undergrad credits before I left and just enjoy a last collegiate semester of dance and Italian.

Sixthly, I would be fresh "off the boat" from Italy for my interviews with Delta and my Italian efficiency tests. I can't imagine a better way to prepare for those than spending 4 months in the country whose language I hope to be using in my career. :)

So there you go. I will be in Tuscaloosa, Alabama for this fall--my last semester at UA! And then I will spend the spring in Florence, Italy, and get to see this every day:

It is going to be a fantastic year. :)